I’ve described here in my first, second, and third entires that I have an intense interest in learning about suicide. Let me be crystal clear; I have no intentions whatsoever of killing myself. My interest stems from personal tragedy. If you haven’t read the earlier posts, my grandfather shot and killed himself in October of 2010 and then a neighbor did the same a couple of years later. Because of these events, and the awful things I saw as a result, I spend a fair amount of time reading about suicides, the psychology of being suicidal, the people that are most likely to harm themselves, etc. I believe that instead of questioning the whys of my grandfather’s suicide, which I feel I do understand, that I question the whys of suicide in general.
In my reading last night I ran across something that made my heart stop. On a .org site* about suicide someone had posted a suicide note not three hours before I ran across it. This person listed their name, address, phone number, and other personal information. I worried it might be a hoax of some kind, but I couldn’t let it go. I looked up the number for the police in the city this person claimed to be in. I called and explained what I had seen and gave the information I had. My heart was racing as I did this. I worried that if this person were real I may have been too late. I worried that I might be doing something I shouldn’t, getting involved in a personal decision. However, I ended up glad I called.
The officer told me that I was not the only person to have called them. According to the officer they had just gotten back from going to check on this individual and getting them some help. It is, in fact, a real person and was a real situation. Luckily they got there in a timely fashion. The officer thanked me for calling and we got off the phone.
It took me a while to stop shaking after I hung up. I really am not sure what I think about this. I really hope this person can beat these thoughts and have a happier life. I’ll probably never know anything else, but at least I feel like I did the right thing today.
Note: I would link to this, but I just don’t feel comfortable advertising this person’s name even though that is exactly what they did.